By Nicole Hand
The scary lump under my chin has diminished to the size of a pea. Phew! Huge relief. My oral surgeon examined me this morning and said that he thought I had flushed the stone on my own. Unfortunately the treatment for the blocked salivary gland - mass quantities of Lemonheads, Sour Patch Kids, and lemon water - while tasty, has resulted in about 20 mouth ulcers. I can't talk, eat, or drink in comfort.
I appealed to all my Facebook friends for help and was amazed at the number of tips I got. Tea tree oil, warm salt water, alum, gentian violet... the list goes on and on. I tried everything that I had on hand and got some relief, but nothing worked as well as my neighbor's home cure.
My neighbor, Becky, knows everything about herbs and natural remedies. (If she is reading this now she is protesting that she doesn't know everything, but this is my blog so I can say she knows everything, because she does.) She mixed up a truly vile tasting concoction of honey, licorice root, marshmallow root, slippery elm tea, and yarrow. Not only does the mixture taste terrible, it also has, in Becky's words, a 'boogery consistency.' I swished it around in my mouth, trying and failing to ignore the taste and texture, and almost immediately the pain faded and then disappeared. I couldn't believe it.
I re-swish with Becky's Boogery Brew once an hour and no longer feel any pain. If it didn't taste like sweet snot in a jar, Becky could market this as a sure-fire cure and be a millionaire.