I've started a Facebook page for those who are considering jaw surgery or who are already going through the jaw surgery process. You can Click Here to Like the Page.
Right now the fan following is very small, but my hope is that eventually this page will be a place for people to ask questions about jaw surgery, share their blogs and videos, offer advice, etc.
I have been fortunate to meet people from all over the world who are going through jaw surgery, and their friendship and support has been a lifesaver to me. I want this Facebook page to be a real community - a safe place for people to meet friends and get the support they need.
What are you waiting for?! Get on over there and LIKE the Page!
My upper and lower jaw surgeries are only 35 days away! I'm feeling a mixture of excitement and dread as the big day approaches. Excited because this has been a very long journey, and dread because I'm nervous about the four-hour surgery.
Basically, in a perfect world, today would be June 13th and I would be in bed recovering.
The last time I wrote about my braces was on February 23rd when I had just gone in for my SureSmile appointment. The photos below show the result of that appointment - this is a computer generated model of what my new bite will look like!
I cannot stop looking at these pictures! They're on my iPhone and I look at them at least 3 times a day. I'm mesmorized by these photos because it's hard to believe that in the near future this new bite will be a reality. For the very first time in my life my teeth will fit together like matching puzzle pieces.
But, these pictures actually don't show the whole story. My orthodontist, Dr. Timothy Scanlan, is only responsible for making my teeth fit together properly. My surgeon, Dr. Raymond Fonseca, is responsible for the actual moving of my upper jaw and my chin - so the second picture, that shows my profile, doesn't accurately show where my chin will be after the surgery.
In March, using the data collected from the SureSmile technology and my x-rays, Dr. Scanlan placed a wire on my braces to get me to 50% of where my teeth need to be before surgery, and in April he fitted me with the 100% wire.
I try my best to be positive about this whole experience, but I have nothing good to say about the last two months in regards to my poor, poor teeth. (and yes, that did merit two poors!) I was in round-the-clock pain for much of March and April and was on a mostly liquid / mashed potato consistency diet. Thank the gods of Creole food that I was pain-free for my trip down to Louisiana last week - more on that in another post.
I saw Dr. Scanlan yesterday, and he placed the surgical wire on my lower braces. He showed me the wire, which is rigid and similar to a paper clip in its flexibility.
I have lots of appointments coming up with Dr. Fonseca and I'll be sure to post about them here.
Meditation is great. Quiet contemplation, I've got nothing against it. I do both on a regular basis. But
now I would like to make a case for silliness and fun as a sacred practice.
You know, dancing around like a little kid not worried about what you look like, making funny faces, singing with gusto, laughing too loud, and generally expressing your joy and sharing it with other people - as a part of your spiritual quest.
Spirituality, for me, isn't just about my personal experience, it's also about my connection with other people and even, on occasion, with animals. And the times when I feel most connected with other people tend to be moments when I'm sharing a deep belly laugh with someone, celebrating on a dance floor, or singing with a large group of people. Those are the moments when my soul is filled up to the brim, and I am spilling over with love.
Surely these moments are sacred?
I was in a fairly serious place all winter, and then as the buds began to open on the trees, silliness began to blossom in me again. I started to have fun for no other reason than it felt great.
And I also started to feel guilty. I was feeling guilty so much that I actually had to stop having fun to sit down and quietly contemplate what the hell was going on.
Conclusion: I am an adult, but I still like to act silly and have fun. I don't have to ask anyone's permission to do so. If the pesky voice inside my head starts to berate me for what I should or shouldn't be doing, I have every right to tell that voice to shut up. Because no one has the right to tell me that I shouldn't live a BIG, joyful life - not even the critical voice in my head. Especially not the voice in my head!
Here's something else - when I've had a silly time, and I'm feeling all buzzy and sparkly with life, I'm more present and experience things that would otherwise escape my notice. The silly moments actually deepen the more 'traditional' sacred practices that are part of my life.
So I'm off to hula-hoop, or skip, or laugh hysterically at the fish-slapping dance - it's silly, it can be sacred, and it's all good fun.
I spent some of the happiest hours in recent memory this weekend on my deck by the creek that runs
through our property. The weather was spring-like: the sun shining, a light breeze, fluffy cartoon clouds lazily floating by...
I felt my soul exhale.
I've been thinking a lot about balance because my life here lately has been so fundamentally unbalanced. The conclusion I came to this weekend is this: If I don't have some quiet time each day to think my own thoughts not related to work, then life quickly gets out of balance.
How did I come to this conclusion?
As I was sitting on the deck listening to the whitewater and feeling the sun on my face, a hawk swooped close to me and I suddenly had a creative idea for a short story. I actually giggled aloud at my idea. My head was clear, I wasn't in a state of panic /reacting to a problem, so I had space in my head for a new idea. It was fun!
And that's when I had an eye-opening thought: I miss me.
Whoa.
Now that's disturbing. How can I miss me? I'm with me all the time, right?
Well, actually no.
I had gotten into such a pattern of work, work, work, and nothing else that even if I had snatches of downtime I was still thinking about work. It was like I was leasing my brain out for work only and there wasn't room for anything else. It's not healthy and it's my default.
Our culture stresses the dangers of laziness, but the flip side, being a workaholic, is just as bad. In fact, it may be worse because there will always be someone who will praise you for being a hard worker, and who doesn't love praise? It can be easy for me to justify all the ridiculous hours I spend in front of my computer because I think, "I'm working hard, so I must be doing the right thing."
Here's where that logic falls apart:
When I'm sitting all day long staring at a screen, my body suffers. Not only do I get out of shape, but all kinds of aches and pains emerge.
My brain also suffers. I feel fried and dull at the end of seemingly endless work days. I am joyless.
All that extra work means not enough time with my husband, family, and friends.
If all I do is work, then I don't have creative time to accomplish my own life goals. My dream is to write a book and have it published. I will never do this if I don't have time each day to sit down and write.
And the crazy thing is, I'm doing this to myself! I can say no when I have too much on my plate - I just don't. I can ask for more reasonable deadlines - again, I just don't. And I can set office hours and keep them - again, I just don't...
But I'm going to do my best to change all this. I know that I won't always succeed, but putting my intention out there to achieve more balance and cultivate a healthier relationship with work - well, that's a good start.
I recently went to a wellness retreat put on by the FABULOUS Lisa Haupert of Once and Forever Wellness, and I fell head-over-heels in LOVE with the Spelt Blueberry Muffins (with almond and orange zest!!!) made by our chef of the weekend Dava Melton.
Dava gave all the retreat goers the recipe, and I baked up my own today (see picture).
These muffins just make me so dang happy!
They bring back wonderful memories of the retreat and all the new friends I made.
The ritual of making something from scratch is something that I love, and something that I haven't been able to do for months. I've been so busy with work that this small thing - making something with my hands, not store bought - has fallen by the wayside. So it felt incredible to be in my kitchen again making something delicious.
They have filled my house with a heavely scent.
Tom likes to eat them ;)
They came out tasting AND looking beautiful! Far too often I will bake something and it will taste great, but look like something from a 10-year-old's Easy Bake Oven.
These little muffins are a BIG reminder that it is the small things, the unexpected moments, that make life sweet. I've been too caught up in the 'big important stuff' here lately, and, quite frankly, I haven't been very happy. Here's to slowing down, and taking time for things that seem (but aren't) less important.
hours for one client. One client. I finally decided to put the brakes on and took Easter Sunday off.
I had a beautiful day with my husband, brother, and sister-in-law, hiking at DuPont State Forest. We had a picnic, admired the waterfalls, and listened to the rain as it dropped lightly on the lake. It was an all around perfect day. Until...
I noticed my throat getting sore around 8:00 p.m. At 10:00, the chills began. 10:30 I mentioned to Tom that I had body aches, and at 10:45 I took my temperature - 102 degrees. Yikes.
This always happens. When will I learn? Over and over again I push myself to the absolute limit, my body breaks down and I get sick. If I won't take the time to rest, my body makes me rest.
But this was terrible timing. I had a long talk with Tom on Saturday about setting a more reasonable workload for myself - and planning downtime and fun (FUN!) into my workweek. I had a whole smorgasbord of wonderful things planned for myself: lunch with a friend, my first ever Pilates class, an evening out with a group of girlfriends, walks with the dogs - these were things I did NOT want to miss.
So - and this is gonna sound a little nuts - I had a conversation with my body. Out loud!
I said:
'Hey. I totally understand why you're doing this. You need a break. You really do. And my history with you has not been good. Over and over I neglect you and expect too much from you. So if you want to be sick, I get it.
But let me make a case for NOT getting sick.
I want to try harder for you. I want to practice at setting boundaries, saying no, and standing up for you.
If you get sick now, it'll be the easy way out. I don't want the easy way out. I want to prove to you that I can put you first. I want to stand up for you.
I've got some really great things planned for us this week - and I don't think you want to miss out by feeling terrible.
I promise to go easy this week. I promise to give you time outside, and movement, and beauty. I promise to make more room for play and creativity.
I promise to listen to you.
If I don't keep my promise, I understand that I will lose your trust - possibly forever.
I promise to take care of you better from here on out.'
I took a few deep breaths, felt the magnitude of the moment and went to bed.
I woke up Monday morning feeling 100% fine. All my symptoms were gone. I thanked my body for giving me another chance, and got on with my (reasonable) workday.
Well, it's official. I just got word from Becky at Dr. Fonseca's office - Exactly three months from today
This photo shows off my new hedgy t-shirt, but it also shows off my braces and how far my smile has come
on June 12th I will be having my final jaw surgery! Hurray!
Actually, it is 3:35 p.m. as I am writing this, so by this time in three months, the jaw surgery will be OVER and I will be in recovery!!!!! Major celebration time! (Doing a dance at my desk - not easy while typing, but what the hell.)
I feel like the real countdown has finally begun now that I have an actual date. May the next 3 months fly by!
I can't wait until I have a normal bite - (I'm going to be able to bite into an apple for the very first time soon! For those of you with normal bites you totally take this for granted, but for people with bites like mine, this is a BIG DEAL!) and I really can't wait until I'm pain-free.
Thanks to everyone who follows this blog - your support, comments, emails, etc. are very much appreciated.
I recently had back-to-back appointments at my orthodontist (TS Orthodontics) on February 11th and February 14th.
On February 11th, Tina, a Certified Ortodontic Assistant, took my pre-op molds. Basically, she filled molds with raspberry flavored goo (I chose the flavor - there were a bunch to choose from) and then wiggled the mold into my mouth until my upper palate was fully encased in goo. She then told me to breath through my nose, and entertained/distracted me with stories for a few minutes while the goo hardened. She then pulled/popped it out of my mouth and I was left with weird little white bits of a hardened cement-like substance all around my teeth. She repeated the entire process on my lower teeth.
This was the result:
(Hellooooooo new underbite.)
Next I had to bite into a thin cake of wax in order to see exactly where my bite is. Unfortunately, biting down hard is extremely uncomfortable for me right now and I botched the first try. Tina was a sweetheart and warmed the wax a little so it was softer and easier to bite into. The result was this:
Dr. Scanlan then had a look at my bite and said that he thought I would be ready for surgery in about 2 months (!). He said he would take a look at the molds that were created from my bite and schedule my SureSmile appointment soon (more on that later).
Well, soon was soon-er than I thought it would be, because I was back in the orthodontist chair just a few days later, for what was by far my favorite appointment so far. Dr. Scanlan broke out the big guns in terms of orthodontic technology, and other than the weird ways I had to hold my mouth open in order to get good pictures, I loved it.
Full disclosure: I am a technology geek.
Dr. Scanlan is obviously also a technology geek, because as of the date of this posting, he is the only orthodontist in Western North Carolina to have SureSmile technology. He was laughing at me taking pictures of everything with my iPhone during the appointment, but I know deep down in his tech-geek heart he was getting a kick out me having so much fun with the computer models, etc.
This is what happened at my SureSmile appointment:
Terri, another Certified Ortodontic Assistant, worked with me. She updated my photographs first (I hope to get copies of these photos for my blog) by taking a profile picture, a picture of me facing forward smiling and not smiling. (For photos that I took of my profile on the same day, Click Here.) Then the real fun came (insert sarcasm). She had to get pictures of the inside of my mouth, which bascially involved my stretching my cheeks out until they felt numb. The best thing that could be said about this part of the process is that it was over quickly.
Next, Terri removed my wires and set me up for a 360 degree x-ray of my skull - so cool. I cannot wait to see the x-rays of this. How often do you get to see exactly what your skull looks like? Not often
enough, I say. Not often enough.
Then, the real magic began. Terri scanned my teeth with the SureSmile OraScanner. She painted my teeth with a white substance that burned ever-so-slightly so that she could get the best possible pictures of my teeth. The OraScanner looks like a thick wand/tube with a mirror attached to the end. The mirror is warm so that it doesn't fog up when it is inserted into your mouth. The tiny camera is on the end of the tube and it takes photos of what is reflected on the mirror - genius. Terri took hundreds of photos (the camera in the OraScanner is very rapid fire so this only took a few minutes).
The next step is to send my records to SureSmile where they will make a 3-D model of my teeth (again, cannot wait to see the 3-D model - geek dance!). And then Dr. Scanlan will know exactly what steps to take in order to prepare me for surgery.
Here is the preliminary photo from my appointment:
The SureSmile website is the best possible place to visit if you want to learn more, but here is a nice synopsis of the technology:
Instead of bending an archwire by hand, a SureSmile doctor uses advanced 3-D imaging, virtual simulations and robotically bent archwires customized for your treatment. When the SureSmile wire is inserted into your brackets, each tooth moves more directly to the prescribed position. Your teeth don't move faster with SureSmile - they move with precision that was never before possible.
I think that covers it. I'm excited about my appointment in March when I will get to see the 3-D model and x-ray of my skull. I will, of course, be sharing it all with you, so stay tuned.
Here's my video on my recent visits to Dr. Scanlan's office:
The gap was officially gone the first week in February, and it is now February 18th and I'm just getting around to blogging about it (bad blogger!) which means that I have forgotten most of what I was going to write about. Thankfully, I made a video blog the week the gap closed with all the most important details. Check it out, leave your comments and questions below and be on the lookout for my next blog about my x-rays, SureSmile photos, molds, and more.
I can sum up my feelings for Gishy Goo in these few words: Gishy Goo, I love you.
The inside of my mouth, particularly the very back of my mouth where the wire from my braces ends and pokes out slightly, was being completely torn up. Wax adheres to the brackets of braces fairly well, but it does nothing to protect you from the horrible poking of the wire. Enter Gishy Goo.
I cannot stress how much better Gishy Goo is than wax. It stays on all day, even while eating, it completely protects the inside of my mouth, and it tastes ever-so-slightly of bubble gum. What's not to like?
Gishy Goo is a soft, squishy material you can put on your
braces to keep them from poking and rubbing your mouth. It's made of the same
material dentists use to take impressions of your teeth. To use Gishy Goo just squeeze a little bit out of each
dispenser. Mix the two parts together for 10 seconds and then put it on your
wire or bracket.
The only drawback to the Goo is that it is much more expensive than wax, but it lasts a lot longer and actually works on wire ends, so in my book it's totally worth it. I use wax for minor issues and Gishy Goo for the more challenging areas of my braces.
Check out my video to see how to mix and apply Gishy Goo to your braces:
